Saturday, January 19, 2013

Love and this crazy thing we call it.

I don't have the market cornered on love. I don't know that anyone ever could, but I know this: Love is not a fairy tale  It's not big castles, heroic deeds or the large crescendo leading toward a chance encounter. You can't choreograph love. Love is the single most widespread thing on the planet but it is simultaneously the most misunderstood.

The erosion of love in society happens for this very reason.  Love is merely a word that's come to mean intense feeling, we have used other words so often that we jumped to the next without thought for the degradation of the meaning associated with it.  Love is so much more than a feeling, it is a way of life and life is hard.

The ease of which one may travel through life earns a brief note in that it is possible; however there is no path in life more meaningless, unfulfilling and lonely as a life lived without hardships. In this context love is the same. Love is in everything we do or do not do, but it's the culmination of these things over years that make these moments into something tangible.  Just as gold is refined to beauty through heat and turmoil and pressure, so are the relationships that we build the more beautiful for the patience and dedication we give them.  It involves trials, it involves difficulty, but it results in beauty the likes of which we would never otherwise know.

There is of course, the problem of fools gold. We may get excited and think something is love when it is really just our desire to have it. This is the main cause of disputations, heart ache and pain in society. Many people use the word simply because it is the only word greater than "like-liking" someone.  This fools gold of a relationship may be beautiful and shiny and enjoyable for awhile, but as soon as that refiner's fire of trials and hardships come, it will not stand the test.

I digress a moment to explain that I am not saying I am perfect at prospecting for these relationships, I'm simply stating my observations that I have noted.

The love of a moment is a flame that may be extinguished if we do not nurture it. We must feed our love, through action, patience and restraint. If we get too eager, it may flame out of control and we will be burned and occasionally it can engulf things around us, if we let it alone and simply sit back and watch, it will burn out. We must be an active part in sharing the warmth and light of a loving relationship. There will be storms that endanger the flames, where we must put throw on extra wood to the fire and put in more effort.

There can be no thing more requiring of us than love. It will push us to the brink of all that we think we can handle and then push just a bit more. It is in love that we find power to do the impossible. In this way the fairy tales have it right.

Think about a time in your life where you have done something for someone because you had to. There were plenty of other things you wanted to do and it was a chore, a burden on your very soul. But begrudgingly you saw it through and it got finished, it wasn't pretty perhaps, but the job in the end was done.  Now I ask you, think of a time in your life where you have done something for someone because you loved them. That extra flair in your step as you went to your task with purpose, the perfection you desired that everything would be done just as you imagined and the joy you felt in seeing the other person's expression.

This is love in it's truest and most simple of forms. Doing something for someone because you care about them. The relationship dynamics and everything hinges on this one principle of love.  If it were that easy than love would be a lot more prevalent. There are many different kinds of love and different ways it's expressed. The key is to find the kind you have, and find someone who needs to feel it in your way.

 Love is not wrapped up in the grandeur of a moment, it is the combination of each and every smaller moment that makes love last.  There is no grand opus of finality, but a orchestrated sonata that flows throughout life and you can either hear a single note, or appreciate the piece as a whole. There may be a sour note here and there and you will find yourself flat but it is still a song.

Life is also not an excerpt of big events and single moments. It is a story. There will be crescendos and diminuendos. There will be heart wrenching plot twists and inspiring miracles but even a great story would not be so without the small, seemingly insignificant details. Word choice, style, passion. It's the building blocks of a masterpiece.

Do not live your life for highlighted moments, but use every moment as a highlight to your life. I promise you that you will see more wonders, feel more joy, and share more love than you have ever thought possible.

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